Thursday and Friday were nice enough that Canadian Bacon and I chose to wake up early and use them to work on the garage. After our adventures in the washroom last Sunday, we brainstormed and came up with a plan of action that we will be following in prep for the renovation. We decided to focus on the garage first, even though it’s not slated to be turned into living space, just because it was so damned trashed and we figured that if we cleaned it up and organized it for more storage, we’d have an easier time emptying out the basement proper.
The garage is shaped like a giant L flipped backwards and upside down. The door that a car could fit into is at the top of the L, and the part that curves back is just storage. Keep in mind I have never, ever, in my almost 30 years of living, seen a car parked in this thing. But still, this is where one could theoretically fit if it weren’t so full of crap.
Before becoming limited in mobility, the garage was predominately Sugarbandit’s domain. It has two very tough and rugged workbenches and some nice shelving he built in the storage area at the bottom of the L. I never remember him really working down there – I always think of him working at his bench in the washroom – but I know that he did at some point.
When I was growing up, we stored lawn care implements and gardening tools in the garage. Within the past few years, Sugarbandit had a tool shed added to the back yard directly across from the garage entrance, so Canadian Bacon and I started by moving all the yard stuff over there. Unfortunately, we forgot to take true “Before” pictures, so unfortunately the area had already been straightened some when I snapped these:
Even though Meemaw and SB had a very nice new garage door with automatic opener installed about two years ago, Meemaw has persisted in her habit of refusing to ever shut the door. Up until this winter when I persuaded her to start leaving the dogs upstairs in the new sunroom at night, she’d leave the old washroom door cracked for them to get into and stay warm. Unfortunately this gave them unattended access to all the items stored down there. This wasn’t so bad with Chewy, but Cookie has turned out to be a bit of a terror. She chews and destroys everything. Unless stuff was put up, she messed with it. We even found evidence she was chewing on the HVAC unit!
Canadian Bacon and I wound up throwing away five truckloads of shit, a lot of which she’d torn up. Today we bought a shop broom from Wally World and, paired with a flat-nosed shovel, we had the proper tools to sweep and load everything into trash cans and the back of the truck.
On the first day, we managed 3 loads of trash and saw an equal amount of spiders. Not too shabby. We started parking the antiques Meemaw wants to sell on top of a workbench. This is how the place looked at the end of day one in the garage –
Oh, and lest I forget – as Canadian Bacon and I were toting out one of the five Christmas trees Meemaw had stashed down there, I tripped over a board and fell on my ass. My left asscheek and my left wrist still hurt. But if only that were my only accident of the day… oh no, my friends, that wasn’t it. On our second trip to the dump, some guy threw his damn couch on me. Yeah, that’s right. He was tossing his couch out of his truck and it landed on me as I was leaning up against the side of our truck, reaching for something in the back. Fortunately it ALSO hit my ass and just bounced me into the vehicle, kind of stunning me. I was so flabbergasted – and winded – that I just grunted at him when he asked if I were okay and fled the scene of the crime. No, I cannot even make this shit up!
So on day three of TGBR, day two of cleaning the garage, Canadian Bacon and I got an understandably later start. That still didn’t stop us from completely pwning the place. However… this was the day of the spiders. My skin is crawling as I’m typing this. If you scroll up and look at the before pictures, you’ll see two shelves along the wall. We were planning on keeping those because they’re nice storage. We moved the first one and found what was a black widow graveyard. There were at least 10 dessicated corpses hanging there, just fluttering a little in the wind. That skeeved us out… but not as much as what happened when we moved the other, smaller shelf beside it. We unearthed the damn nursery. There were tons of egg sacs packed everywhere and at least twenty mf-ing living black widows scurrying everywhere.
Holy shit, you could hear us all over the neighborhood screaming. I grabbed the baseball bat and started swinging while Canadian Bacon pointed out targets. It was a freaking bloodbath. I have never seen that many damn widows before. I am not the least bit arachnophobic – my old roommate and guy bff Bry is, and my bffe Llek has a huge fear of spiders too, and even CB severely dislikes them – so I’ve always been the designated spider-killer in all those relationships. This, however, was frankly terrifying. Black widows are the scariest spiders I’ve ever seen. It’s like nature put them together for the sole purpose of making people shit themselves in fear.
Needless to say, those shelves are long gone. Canadian Bacon threw them into the truck and more widows continued to crawl over them. Meemaw stood up in the sunroom hollering at us about the spiders while I went berserk bashing shit in the back of the truck. Sweet baby gamer Jesus, I never want to deal with that ever again.
After that trauma and due to some incoming nasty weather, we’re taking Saturday off. We plan to venture into the basement proper on Sunday to get started weeding through the goods and separating the treasure from the trash! I’m hoping that by the end of next week we’ll be able to get a few contractors in for estimates. Woo! Looking at those pictures, I can’t believe the amount of work we did in just two days. AND on top of that, we killed Heroic: Grand Empress Shek’zeer on WoW. My week is complete.